I sincerely debated posting this because the whole thing sounds so very ridiculous, but I decided to because we're all friends, right? Everyone can use a little vent shesh among friends, after all.
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Sometimes I use this blog as a training tool.Sometimes I use it as a scrapbook.
Sometimes I use it as a cookbook.
Very rarely do I use it as a diary.
Today is an exception.
Sometimes I feel like, when I'm uber-frustrated or worried about something, it helps me to get my thoughts in writing. By reading over what I have written, somehow things become more clear. I think it's God's way of changing my point of view, and shifting my focus towards the positive.
So bare with me as I start this post with 'Dear Diary,' instead of 'Hey Bloggies!'
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Last night I had a little mini-breakdown (bless Tom's heart...he is so patient with me and just lets me fume over the silliest things).
A breakdown that was triggered by the news that Conway Kitty required yet another trip to the vet this morning.
For some reason I let myself get so worked up and worry about if this cat is hungry, cold, unloved, lonely, confused, upset, hurting, I could go on and on. I mean, he's a three week old kitten. How complex can his itty-bitty emotions be? If he is fed and warm, clearly he is happy.
I think my main frustration stems from the fact that I have no idea how to help him when he is crying or not eating or what have you....
And a big part of the reason I was upset is because I had to take him back to the vet this morning (for reasons that are a little gross so I won't go into it), which meant my whole morning was off because I had to leave the house early (our vet, like everything else, *she says with gritted teeth* is about 25 minutes away from our house and my job), which meant getting up extra-early, which meant getting up extra-extra early if I wanted to work out. Which I did want to, but I didn't. Instead, hit the snooze button a thousand times, thus getting up about an hour and A HALF after I had planned. Thus rushing around and leaving the house WITHOUT breakfast OR a workout, and WITH wet hair.
*And,* Bex and Mr. Bex are coming over for dinner tonight and I had really wanted to do some things to get ready for them, and have a nice relaxing night with friends. But I didn't wind up having time or energy to do any of the things I wanted to do, and now I'll have to rush around to get my house looking the way I want it to look. Aaaaaaalllllllllll with a kitten living in the bath tub (not that they care one single bit...they are so laid-back, I am the only one that cares how the house looks).
Oh, and did I mention my job makes me stupider by the day?
Sigh.
Do you see where I'm going with this? I just get so worked up when my regular schedule is disrupted. It's like I can't just go with the flow. Or adapt.
I have all these schedules...work schedule, workOUT schedule, Bible study schedule, Tom's schedule, this freakin' kitten's schedule *again with gritted teeth*....and I don't even have human kids yet.
Another reason to stress....how am I going to handle human children if I fall apart over a three-week old kitten?
I mean, really, Drama Queen.
So after going through the above thought process about a million times last night, and as I lay waiting for my alarm clock to go off this morning, I had a big giant pity party for myself.
Then, as I was watching the Today show, on one of my two TVs in my warm home, while putting on $50 worth of department store make-up, in my beautifully decorated bedroom, and chatting with my precious four-legged daughter, it all dawned on me.
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I am so darn lucky.
Blessed is really a more appropriate word.
Blessed....
- that God has given me a humane heart
- that I DO have the time and resources to get this orphaned kitten healthy
- that my body is strong enough to where I can skip a workout or two and get back at it
- that I have a job, and more importantly, a PAYCHECK
- that I have a network of women who invited little 'ole me to join their Bible study
- that I have a house to clean
- that I have a house
- that we have a freezer full of meat and vegetables to prepare a dinner with great friends
- that we have great friends
- that I have this understanding (and good-looking to boot!) partner to go through life with who just lets me go off on crazy rants and still manages to love me
- and that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Deep breaths....okay, I feel better after getting it all out.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for the crazy rant. That is all. :)
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