Although this is the best possible outcome....I have saved a dog's life! We took her into our home, house trained her, solcialized her, and taught her how to live with a real family and 'sister.' I turned a stray dog into a pet and I am thankful for this happy ending.
Just still a little sad at the same time. Thanks for listening.
*****
Dinner was eaten and kitchen was clean. Reba was curled up in the corner of the couch and Dolly with her front legs and head on my lap as usual. The yellow ‘dog sheet’ beneath us to protect the couch, this was our evening ritual. I watched mindless TV and scratched Reba’s back with my left hand while petting Dolly’s head with my right. They were in heaven and so was I. I could hear Tom clicking away on the computer in the guest bedroom (the only place where we get internet. Welcome to the Delta.), probably searching for Jeep parts or fishing lures online. This is a typical night for us and I love it.
As I sat there looking down at Dolly’s blonde head I held her tiny paw in my hand and wondered what she remembered from her old life before us, and if she would remember what it was like to be ours for a short time. Tomorrow she would go to another home. Somewhere far away, to a family I didn’t know. I have complete trust and admiration for the recue society that found a forever family for Dolly, but I still carry a mountain of guilt for sending…scratch that….giving her away. Although I knew this was how it would be in the beginning, and I couldn’t have asked for a better scenario. We were a foster home for Dolly during some dangerously cold winter months, and my desire was to send her from our home to another, thus avoiding the trauma of spending more time in a cold shelter with a million other yippy dogs. And that was exactly what was happening. She was ours for a few months. We let her sleep on the couch and play in a huge yard, and lick our faces to her heart’s content. We gave her a good life, and now she was leaving. 
Although Tom and I collectively decided to foster a dog, she was really ‘my’ dog. Tom is a great guy, and dog-lover, but he definitely favored Reba and thought Dolly was annoying. Dolly could sense it and always wanted to be near me, and cuddle with me anytime I could sit still. She would jump up next to me, inch her way onto my lap, close those little eyes, and there she would stay for hours if I let her.
As I sat there looking down at Dolly’s blonde head I held her tiny paw in my hand and wondered what she remembered from her old life before us, and if she would remember what it was like to be ours for a short time. Tomorrow she would go to another home. Somewhere far away, to a family I didn’t know. I have complete trust and admiration for the recue society that found a forever family for Dolly, but I still carry a mountain of guilt for sending…scratch that….giving her away. Although I knew this was how it would be in the beginning, and I couldn’t have asked for a better scenario. We were a foster home for Dolly during some dangerously cold winter months, and my desire was to send her from our home to another, thus avoiding the trauma of spending more time in a cold shelter with a million other yippy dogs. And that was exactly what was happening. She was ours for a few months. We let her sleep on the couch and play in a huge yard, and lick our faces to her heart’s content. We gave her a good life, and now she was leaving. Although Tom and I collectively decided to foster a dog, she was really ‘my’ dog. Tom is a great guy, and dog-lover, but he definitely favored Reba and thought Dolly was annoying. Dolly could sense it and always wanted to be near me, and cuddle with me anytime I could sit still. She would jump up next to me, inch her way onto my lap, close those little eyes, and there she would stay for hours if I let her. Reba, on the other hand, is just as content to lay spread eagle on the ground, or in the corner of the couch. She does not crave the attention like Dolly does. I think it’s because Reba knows we’ll always be there for her, and Dolly has not been so lucky with her previous family. It’s almost like anytime we’re in the same room Dolly wants to keep me in her sights just so she knows I’m not leaving her. And when I do have the time to sit with her, she is just so thankful for a warm body to cuddle with, and for a little bit of undivided attention, two things she went without for so long.
That is why tomorrow will be hard for me. My fear is that tomorrow when she is in the car on the way to her forever home she will wonder why I am leaving her with strangers and without her sister. My fear is that she will be scared and lonely and think that we have completely abandoned her. She will think she has been abandoned by yet another family. 
My hope is that her new family will have a fenced in yard where she can run. A couch with her very own ‘dog sheet’ to sleep on at night. I hope they have a young child who will demand that Dolly sleep on her bed every night. Or maybe an elderly woman who always wanted a dog to sit with her during the day. I hope Dolly has a companion at her new home…whether it be canine or human…to keep her warm and let her inch her way onto their lap and into their heart. That she can close those little eyes and be content and thankful for a new warm home and a full belly. And I hope she remembers me because I will certainly always remember her.
That is why tomorrow will be hard for me. My fear is that tomorrow when she is in the car on the way to her forever home she will wonder why I am leaving her with strangers and without her sister. My fear is that she will be scared and lonely and think that we have completely abandoned her. She will think she has been abandoned by yet another family. My hope is that her new family will have a fenced in yard where she can run. A couch with her very own ‘dog sheet’ to sleep on at night. I hope they have a young child who will demand that Dolly sleep on her bed every night. Or maybe an elderly woman who always wanted a dog to sit with her during the day. I hope Dolly has a companion at her new home…whether it be canine or human…to keep her warm and let her inch her way onto their lap and into their heart. That she can close those little eyes and be content and thankful for a new warm home and a full belly. And I hope she remembers me because I will certainly always remember her.
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